When my only child became little then big sister

My first born was born mid November in 2004. Her father and i split up very early in her life and this resulted in me and her moving to another place. I have dated here and there but never moved in with anyone ever since So it has been me and her against the world for almost 7 years.

Jolly Amani

After 6 years of meeting Mr wrong i finally found my Mr. right! I introduced them to each other after three months of dating, but as she is a careful type she did keep her distance at first. Now, my Mr. right had a son almost the same age as my girl and she did like the fact that she finally found a playmate and not only had to hang out with mummy( though i do feel like i´m quite entertaining, when i´m not falling asleep on the couch due to tiredness) i blame the low hemoglobin percentage:-). But yeah, it was us two, and she kinda got used to the idea and loved it.

Amazing Mr right and I had other plans though. We were in love and were busy doing what people who love each other do. We didn't waste time at all so we had sleep overs( dragging our children along every time, school or no school night), we found out we were pregnant 6 months in the relationship and had to speed up the lets get married and move in together process. So we kinda forced our children to be siblings in the process. So we made sure we spend time at each others places equally in order to make sure that our kids maintained their safe haven.

So we got married, found a little house to move into and that's when i finally noticed how tough all this was on my daughter. She felt sad when we moved out of our apartment and felt even more sad when the little one arrived. She went to bed crying and telling me that i didn't love her (almost every night). The first 14 days with the newborn were crucial as i had to focus on the newborn and  to take care of myself so the healing process speeds up. So my husband took over the taking to school, giving breakfast, taking care of the house part. She hated every moment of it and only God knows that for some moments i wished i could be two places at once, just to make her happy again.

But her little brother was here to stay and besides i loved my new life, i love my man, i love his son, and i love our new born and i loved her!! she just had to get used to it. But when she one day  said " mummy, cant you just get a divorce so that you and I  can be just us two again"? That´s when i felt touched and remembered that she is still a kid, and all the fact that she was sharing me with my husband, his son, and the new born , was way ( with 6 extra a´s) too much for her, so i had to do something about it, she is just a kid, my kid.

I therefore had to figure out the best way to help her through this process. So i gave her attention when the little one slept (though i would prefer to nap with the little one after being up with him all night), asked her to sit next to me while i breastfed, or play with the little one while he was awake offered to pick her from school( though i was still healing and buses full of people freaked me out, especially when the little one bust out crying. And this helped a whole lot:-) She still feels like its too much if i call my husbands son, my son,  and would like to hear me say that i love her and her little brother more than anyone else in the universe. This is all understandable and im glad things are getting better as her little brother gets older. Yesterday we had a 3 hrs mummy daughter time  for the fist time in 3 months and she was ecstatic because she had my full attention. She is getting older and more accepting Though. I got Love for her:-)